Let's Not Eat Sour Grapes This Thanksgiving

Are you a liberal dreading the idea of spending Thanksgiving with a family divided about the recent election? Are you worried about how you are going to deal with the conversation when the focus on food, family, and football is abandoned for a rehash of the election? My suggestion is to resist your urge to refight the quarrels of the past year. Those arguments are done, and there nothing that can be said to alter the votes that have been cast. Instead, steel yourself against your emotional reactions and refrain from lashing back. Rather, use these encounters as an opportunity to gather information; information that will be essential in altering the outcome of elections yet to come.

It is crucial that you restrain your impulse to defend the righteousness of your position. Instead of engaging in a pointless rehashing of facts upon which you will never agree, deflect the conversation. Now is the time to gather knowledge and insights that will help us be more effective in contests to come, now is not the time to change minds. Don't get drug into relitigating the election; try to move past discussions of all that has transpired. Instead, get the Trump supporter to focus on their vision for the future. Get the Trump voter to outline their hopeful vision of what a Trump administration will do over the next four years. Have them describe, in as much detail as possible, their positive vision for the good that a Trump Presidency and a Republican Congress will bring this nation. Resist your natural inclination to refute the likelihood that their Utopian vision will be fulfilled. Instead, probe deeper and gather as much detail as you can. Look for those elements in their vision which are compatible with your own view of a progressive future.

I suspect that you will find some common ground even as you profoundly disagree on the methods for achieving it. For some, that common ground may include a vision of a vibrant economy in which workers make a decent wage; an economy in which each generation’s prospects are better than the last. With others, that common ground may take other forms. The key is getting to the root of it.  I believe that some element of common ground can be found once you get down to specific, practical outcomes. And, of course, there will be many elements of their vision that you do not share. That is ok too as it is not realistic to believe we can come to terms on every issue. You must be strong and not engage in battles that cannot be won. Use this as an opportunity to develop skills and to gain knowledge that will aid us in being more persuasive later on.

Be prepared to hear bigoted and potentially ugly opinions. I do not believe that all Trump voters supported his bigotry; many supported Trump in spite of those views. But it is likely that a portion of Trump supporters did shared his bigoted views of the world. While this past election cycle has eroded social inhibitions governing the expression of bigoted ideas in public, it has been my experience that those inhibitions seldom extend to internal family interactions anyhow. I know I have endured the bloviating ‘Archie Bunker’ protégées at family gatherings at one time or another. This Thanksgiving, don’t try and change their minds. Instead, try to glean an understanding from whence their concerns lie. Is their bigotry derived from closely held animus? Or does it derive from fear of external threats, the absence of any real experience with these ‘others’ and a perception that some groups are being singled out for special treatment and privileges which they find inherently unfair?

In the coming elections, progressives will need the votes of many who supported Trump if we are to flip the House and Senate, and to eventually take back the White House. We must win over some of these voters if we want to retake State Houses and governorships. We may never win over the true believers, but we must find ways of appealing to those that can be persuaded. Progressives must understand the visions and desires of the Trump voter and those with Republican leanings. Where possible, we must addresses the concerns of those who currently oppose us while still remaining true to our progressive values. Our goal should be the construction of a platform those individuals we currently are not reaching can support despite their differences with us on the particulars of some issues.

Our arguments going forward must acknowledge the negative perceptions held by the other side. Progressives must counter the other side’s perceptions, not with name calling and condescending arguments, but by telling a more compelling story that won’t get blocked by an automatic defensive reaction. We must emphasize how the positions we advocate will achieve outcomes that we and they both desire. But this can only be achieved if we understand exactly what they perceive our differences to be and where we have the potential for common ground. We must find a way to stop exclusively ‘preaching to the choir’ and instead actively address arguments that speak directly to the core concerns and visions of the Trump voter on which we can agree.

I firmly believe that Republican and Trumpian policy outcomes will come to be viewed unfavorably by those who voted for them. The most likely results of their proposed policies include attacks on entitlement programs, assaults on worker’s rights, and moves that erode individual constitutional protections. None of those outcomes are going to be popular. This country’s foreign and trade policies over the next four years are likely to result in widespread instability abroad and economic upheavals at home. We must remain engaged and try to mitigate those negative outcomes, but there is only so much that can be achieved from the minority seats at the table. As a result, these unfortunate outcomes will present an opportunity to shift to a new, more effective direction.

Progressives need to be prepared to deliver a better alternative that will resonate with the future disillusioned Trump voter. We must offer solutions that speak to the concerns of his supporters. We need to begin working now on an agenda that speaks to the core concerns that we all share. We need to package that agenda so that it clearly resonates with the persuadable Trump voter. The information you gather at these Thanksgiving encounters, and throughout the coming months, will be the essential building blocks required to craft a program that speaks to disaffected Trump supporter’s core concerns while still remaining true to the progressive vision for America.