Halfway to my goal; Making excellent progress but still fearing failure

First I will trumpet the good news. I have lost 52 pounds since I started this quest.  My blood sugar readings are excellent, and my daily intake of insulin and my daily dose of cholesterol medication been cut in half. I am now wearing the same size clothes I wore when I retired from the Air Force ten years ago (although to be fair, I was 20 pounds overweight by Air Force standards when I retired). All of this is extremely good news.  I am just about halfway to my goal of 173 pounds, and I am seeing the positive health impacts as well as a positive rise in my own self-image.

The key to my success has been religiously recording every calorie I consume and limiting my daily intake to between 1400 and 1700 calories. To keep under that calorie limit, I have radically overhauled my diet.  My new diet has no potato chips, no French fries, very few potatoes, and very little white rice. When I do eat high calorie food, I eat small portions. For example, I order the smallest burger at a restaurant, and if it is portion is still too large (based on my calorie goal for the day), I will take a portion home and use it for lunch or dinner the next day.   To keep me on track, I have found the space in my calorie budget for the occasional treat like a small scoop of ice cream, a piece of pizza, and a beer or two at the ball park. Additionally, I have learned to recognize that I am not going to go into a diabetic coma if I don’t immediately much on something the first time I feel the slightest hunger pang.(This is a true, but very unrealistic fear I once had).  To keep me on the straight and narrow, I also make sure I have plenty of fruit and other healthy snacks such as nuts, raw vegetables, and canned sardines to stave off any linger hunger pangs between meals. (Yes, sardines are a common light lunch for me on this diet). I limit my breakfast to 300 calories or less. My goal with breakfast is too eat enough to take away any immediate hunger pangs, but to force my body to begin the fat burning as early each day as possible. (Of course, that may be unscientific, but it does show how my thinking works).

Overall, I have nothing but positives to report. However, I still fear that I will eventually slip back into my old ways. While I have managed to retool my eating habits over the past 90 days, I have to be realistic and recognize that those 90 days stand counter to the 52 years of contrary habits that went before. In 2007 I weighed 220 pounds for about a week.  However, I eventually let the bad habits slip back in, and my weight rebounded to something close to 280 pounds.  Therefore, I am keenly aware of the real danger that is could all be an ephemeral accomplishment.  I have no way of knowing what the future will bring. However, I am convinced part of my long term success is dependent on me harnessing these fears and using them to reinvigorate my resolve if and when I backslide into old habits.

Wish me luck, I will keep you posted.